forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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