The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
