im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
