I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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