where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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