dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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