strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
