you traded sex for a burrito?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
