Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
