glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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