So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
