so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
