Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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