"it" just moved
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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