don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
