I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
