Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
