New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
