and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
