how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
