after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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