woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
