i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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