she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
this will be a night to untag.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
