I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
