Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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