"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
