just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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