her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just found a bag of teeth...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize