Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
