hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
