I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize