I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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