You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
