4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
