This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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