Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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