Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
