whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
