Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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