We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
