normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
