man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
