nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
