that's an acceptable place to lick
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
