sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
