i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
