Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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