i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
