Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
