I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
