The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
