I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
