she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
