its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
