Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
