So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
