you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
