Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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