My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
